Choice

I just got back from seeing "Precious" a film based on the novel "Push" by Sapphire. It was every bit of the tear jerking, fist making, yet inspiring drama it was advertised to be. I can't say I've ever been through anything as dramatic as the main character, but I think we all have set backs, surprises, and pitfalls in our lives; times when we feel alone, worthless, or unloved. And there's nothing wrong with that.

You can't enjoy the good without the bad, nor the calm without the storm. (yea its cheesy). To quote one of my favorite poets: "To comprehend a nectar requires the sorest need." But the hard part is getting out of it, waking up from your funk, mini-depression, or stupor and realizing that you have a choice, an alternative. Sometimes the alternative doesn't even exist, and we have to make it or think it up ourselves--that's another post. Yet at the same time choice is one greatest and tragic privileges we have.

You can choose to do nothing. You can choose to make the same mistakes again. You can choose to change. But our choices aren't without consequences. There's an inherent risk in doing things differently, and we are most certainly creatures of habit. We do what we do because that's what we've always done, and we're still alive so what's the problem? We get so used to living, no, functioning in a certain way, that we begin to polarize life as this black and white prison cell. We either stay where we are or die--cause we have no idea what's on the other side, and since we haven't been there, there's no guarantee anyone else is going to be there when we fall. It paradoxically seems that freedom from the cage or solitary confinement will certainly lead to being alone. So, we cower from change, stick to what we know. But, if life has taught me anything it's that we don't know much, and almost nothing is black and white.

Have you ever tried going a day or a week with simply saying yes or no, all in or all out? It'd be a very taxing task. Everyday we compromise, switch things up, meet people half-way, and rarely is there a clear solution to conflict, if there is one at all. So why should we feel so limited in those moments when we have to make a decision that deals with us? Now, I'm not talking about compromising yourself for anyone else. I believe you should never compromise yourself for anyone else (though this gets complex when you bring children and love in the mix). You should never feel less of yourself, and when you start to, that's the hint that something needs to change. But I am saying that sometimes when life has dealt you the worst hand in the deck, you have to change the rules of the game. Sometimes you may need to leave the table, and find somewhere else to play. Sometimes, you may need to start your own table.

Also, we shouldn't feel shut in or alone when faced with tough decisions. Some of us may not have family to reach out to. Some of us may not have friends. And some of us may feel like we have neither of those. But, I can guarantee that out of the billions of people on this planet, at least one cares. I know it's hard to reach out, but you never know you're not alone unless you do. So this was way longer than I expected, I guess I'll close with: choose to reach out and choose to choose. Think about it: if all of us decided to take those blind leaps of faith with our arms outstretched, we're bound to end up in someone else's arms.